To My (late) Brother

It’s strange what grief does. I was listening to some of my musical library and I found my self revisiting ‘Like A Butterfly’ by The Mission. It was a song I had played at my brothers funeral. 


To my (late) brother


Years have passed

since you ceased in the way I knew you.


You were the older

and yet now that is me.


In childhood, as the younger,

it was my calling to surpass you


but whatever the fantasies of innocent childhood,

they were never meant to be true.


Years have passed

and I cannot count them.


I take out my fingers,

calculate backwards to that Bank Holiday


when an innocuous bell tolled,

and a voice told that you had passed.